It's not the movie that made me sad but who was missing while I was there.
I really felt like tonight I needed to be alone. I didn't know why , but I was feeling sort of down and went to the movie alone , on the spur of the moment. I had talked to P about going last week but I just jumped in my car and went all by myself and now I know why.
I get my ticket , get in line to get popcorn and candy, I know, I don't need it but ,it is what you do when you go to the movies. I got my diet coke with lots of ice and go find my seat.
I am sitting there and all of a sudden I know why I am by myself. I am struck with overwhealming grief, going to the movies reminds so much of my friend ,Becky. She loved a chick flick and we saw several of them together. The last time we went to the movie together we saw that Dianne Keaton flick about the mothers and daughters. We laughed and laughed beacuse we have daughters and we love them just like the mother in the film did. She loved this certain line in the movie and it reminded her of Caroline.
Anywho, all of a sudden I miss her so much and can't bear the thought of her not being here. I am thinking , she would love this movie, she would love the dresses, the kissing scenes, the drama, the girliness of it all. It was her kind of movie. But , why is she not here with me ? Why has she been taken from us so soon? I need to talk to her and tell her stuff and pray with her and laugh just one last time. But , I know God is good and soverign and he has a reason for it all.
I know HE needed her more than me. HE needed her joy and love to surround his people and HE wanted to tell her she had done a good job of reaching others and telling them about him through all the pain and suffering she endured. She did not complain, she continued to praise him and trust him , and HE needed her more than me.So..
The simple act of going to a movie has helped me to think of how she loved HIM ..She loved HIM more than any movie, more than any material possesion , more than any friendship, and that is what he wanted her to do with her life and when her job was done, HE wanted her more than I needed her.
So..I will never walk into a movie theater and not think of her ,and the popcorn, and the candy, and the chick flick that we laughed at , and the fun that she put in my life.
Loving you all from the Cinema I and thinking of all that she is doing at this very moment with the one she loved more than a Movie.
Robin
3 comments:
Hi Robin.
Sure, I remember you and Jeanne Carol. That has been a while ago, hasn't it? And, believe it or not, I am still there! However, I'm beginning to think it's been long enough!
Aren't these blogs wonderful? I enjoy blogging so much and have met many wonderful people. I've found it quite therapeutic and relaxing. Plus a great way to journal.
I knew Becky through the years, her girls were at FP also. She was a jewel. Such a transparent Christian...who loved life. I think that the Lord sometimes takes people on 'HOME' to protect them from what could lie ahead for them. Maybe He was being merciful, and actually rewarding her for her strong faith. The article in the paper about the prayer vigil, was sucha tribute to her. The young man, Alex, who was also in the article is my son. He suffers extreme pain daily. So, if God chose to keep her from pain and ease her suffering, I must say,"Thank-you." It is so hard for those of us left behind to figure out, isn't it?
I see where your husband has been sick with his back. That can be so very painful. Hope he continues to improve.
It has been nice talking to you and I would like to continue to check in with you. God Bless!
Tonja
Robin, it's amazing how our God works. You needed to go to that movie and face that grief.I've had moments like that too. Abby's blog reflects the same sentiments that you expressed. Becky had a great love of life, so many things we do here are going to remind us of her. Movies, books, going out to lunch, dinner, (ok breakfast too). The beach, Atlanta shopping trips,Birmingham shopping trips, (ok ALL shopping trips). As I watched Kendall speak yesterday morning, I thought about how proud Becky must be of her youngest. Let's continue to remind each other, just as you have, that she sits at the greatest banquet table with the one we all long to see. Praise Him.
Love, Lori
I have been kicking myself for the last couple of months because I never sat her down and asked how she raised such godly, mature girls. What did she do? what did she say to them? I want to know how she did it. I am so sad that I will have to wait to hear the answer and make lots of mistakes while I wait. What a wonderful mother and friend she was. She is missed...
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